This is my favorite part.
If you could earn degrees by practicing rather than studying, I would have a PhD in flirting.
Flirting is all about knowing what to do and when. There are steps to relationships that, if skipped, make for very uncomfortable moments (think about that guy who professed his love to you, and you were like, "Wait, what's your name again?") Awkward.
I'm going to outline the steps in the two possible scenarios where you would want to flirt.
SCENARIO ONE: you will see this guy repeatedly in the future. Foundation of friendship: necessary.
Become an attractive friend. Never skip this step. Loooooots of ground is covered in step one. Keep the flirting at an undercurrent level. Talk to him about sports, fishing, aliens, your hideous Home Room teacher, whatever he's into, and be natural about it. Just make sure you look good and smell like heaven (light on the perfume, heavy on the minty gum.) No touching at this point. If he doesn't seem interested, you can always continue to be friends without any lingering awkwardness. Be nice to his friends. This is a good time to introduce teasing, but stay a little aloof of too much rough-housing by protesting in a feminine way. A tiny frown while you smooth your hair sends the right message. I loved rough-housing, but only with boys I wasn’t seriously into. It’s too brother-sister.
Show him special interest. This is where oh-so-subtle flattery comes into play. Still keeping everything very light and friendly, choose him as your next lab partner. Give him a non-romantic but personal nick-name. Text him a funny meme and then leave him alone for a few days. Bump into him intentionally in the hall and then grin at him as you walk away. One of my favorites: look up when he says something funny, give him one good laugh, and then smile to yourself for a second as you get back to work. All of this is designed to make him feel like he's starting to be interesting to you, without it coming across like you're chasing him. What's important here is that you keep your flirting saucy, brief, and infrequent, so that he could interpret it as you just being playful. This is important, because it gives him a chance to either reciprocate or reject your attentions. As painful as rejection at this point may be, it is sooooo much more embarrassing if you persist in pursuing him, only to find out later that you were a nuisance the whole time. You also want to start touching him in a friendly way. You could compare how much bigger his hands are to yours, tousle his hair (unless it has product in it,) touch his shoulder to get his attention, etc. Just remember this important rule: flirt with your eyes OR with your hands, but not both at the same time. It's too soon to be so direct. Wait till you're SURE he's into you.
Hook him, baby. You'll know when he's hooked. He'll get that look in his eye, and that goofy grin... mm-mm good. :) Now's the time to pair flirty looks with flirty touches. Lean over his shoulder to "cheat" off his homework and then, while your face is still close to his, smile into his eyes and say "Just teasin." Let that minty-fresh breath wash over him and then watch him blush up to his ears. Beautiful.
What you do with him at this point is up to you. I always found high school boyfriends to be a let-down. I know you don't want to share your crush with anyone, so it makes sense to want to claim him as quick as you can. It's painful to see him with other girls! You want to be his one and only! Still... there's something so depressing about teenage couples. They always look miserable and awkward, don't they? I have this outrageous idea that a girl could hook a guy, confess that she's crazy about him, let him kiss her once or twice, but be really clear that she just doesn't want a serious boyfriend in high school. Then she could go on flirting with him, going on dates with him, and all the best parts of liking someone, without the heavy drama of "being in love." Fact is, does he really want to be tied down right now, either? No. He wants to date around and have fun, just like you. I refuse to subscribe to the absurd notion that a girl should only flirt with and kiss someone she's serious about. That's nonsense. I wouldn't advise making out with anyone at this age, but one lingering kiss on the lips is just right for a 16 year old. And if you have a reputation for stopping there, people won't call you names. How can they? A girl who kisses 5 different guys once isn't sleazy. She's just lucky! :) It's up to you and your parents, though. Trust your instincts, and don't do anything you're uncomfortable with.
SCENARIO TWO: you will likely never see this guy again. Foundation of friendship: not necessary.
Throw cation to the wind. Dances are a great time to flirt like crazy with someone you'll likely never see again. In this case, you risk no real humiliation if he's not into you. So what does turbo-speed flirting look like? Here's how it goes:
-You see a hottie on the other side of the room. Get busy looking like you're having a great time. Sulky girls don't score dates. Then "accidentally" catch his eye, give him one quick searching glance with a hint of a smile and then look away. If he looks meaningfully at you again, give him a real smile of encouragement. You may want to stand a little apart from your group of girlfriends to make it less intimidating for him to ask you to dance. You could even pass by him on your way to some imaginary errand. Once he asks you to dance, keep your flirting saucy and playful. We're looking for FUN here, not ROMANCE. I think that's where girls often go wrong, is they're seeking romantic behaviors from boys who aren't in love with them. Be satisfied with flirtatious teasing rather than looks of longing. It's where you're at right now. Boys will truly fall in love with you soon enough.
Did I miss a must-try flirting tip? Comment below! WBS- Jess
Comments