Say that little ditty ten times fast.
You know how when you get to a certain age and start looking longingly in the rearview mirror at the old days, and you’re thinking, “If only I could go back and do it again, but with the wisdom I have now”? What wisdom would you carry with you?
The pearl I treasure most on my chain of wisdom jewels is this: acceptance is the key to peace. That’s not to say that you don’t fight for growth and improvement, but some things just ARE, and once you let go and accept the reality of that hard thing, you can start to enjoy what’s ok about it and move on. Peace.
Well, my hair is hard. It’s thin. It’s mousy. It is extremely oily and stick straight. What a disappointment! When I die and go to heaven (big assumption there), I am going to have hair like Shakira.
Anyway, the point is that I’ve finally come to accept my hair for what it is. And you know what? The second I accepted what my hair could do and couldn’t do, I fell in love with it. Really! MY hair! It was like I said “You’re pathetic, hair, but I still love you,” and my hair said, “Then I’m going to love you back.”
So here are my tips for how to accept and care for your thin, mousy, oily hair.
TRUTH ONE: your hair is mousy. If you struggle to define what color your hair is exactly, then it’s mousy. Maybe people throw around terms like “dishwater,“ “ashy,” or ”light brown/dark blonde.” It all comes to the same thing. Mousy. Accept it, and here we go.
The reality is, most people have pretty mousy hair naturally. With all the options in hair coloring, you don’t have to keep that look forever if you don’t want to. If money is a concern, try asking your hair stylist for a mohawk highlight. That way you get the top of your hair highlighted where it counts, and everything underneath stays natural. It’s cheap and really pretty! I’ve even asked my stylist to highlight only the very front hair by my face, and that was a beautiful way to add just a breath of beauty to my plain-jane hair. Another suggestion is to go to a beauty college to get your hair colored. Their teachers watch them like hawks, so they won’t ruin your hair.
TRUTH TWO: your hair is thin.
Ok, this may be the toughest reality to face, because thin hair is so LIMITING as far as what styles you can pull off. My advice is to stop chasing thick hair looks right now and have a little talk with yourself. Here’s the deal: if you keep on getting haircuts designed for thick hair, you are going to end up feeling like a hair failure, and that’s not good for your self-esteem. No matter how hard you try, you can NOT turn thin hair into thick hair. Ok, that was painful. Accept it, and here we go.
Your stylist will be able to tell you what to avoid as far as haircuts go. For thin hair like mine, I recommend going waaaay light on the layers. Too many layers will make your ends look scraggly and transparent. I also always insist on getting very few face-framing layers for the same reason. Bangs are darling, but you’re going to lose some hair around your face cutting them of course, so take that into consideration.
Now, to add volume to your hair, always always blow it dry. When my hair is short, I love to use my roundbrush-blow dryer tool and really blow my roots backwards to add height and movement. When my hair is medium-length, I use a regular blow dryer and dry it with my head hanging upside-down the whole time to get that volume. This is when you give your thin hair a high-five for being quick to dry, baby.
You can color your hair however you like (and I’ve been a redhead, a brunette, and every shade of blonde,) but that little bit of damage you get from bleaching your strands lighter will bulk them up. I find that being blonde helps my hair feel a little less oily, too. Another bonus is the grip that damage gives my hair so I can actually keep pins and ponytail holders in. One final tip is to just backcomb the crap out of it, go-go girl style.
TRUTH THREE: your hair is oily.
If thin hair is the hardest reality to accept, oily hair is just the SUCKIEST. Ugh, by the end of the day, my hair is ALREADY greasy. I hate it, but there it is. I have tried EVERY trick in the book. You know what doesn’t work for oily hair? Not washing it. Throw that one out right now. Another tip that bombs is to try to balance your greasy hair by moisturizing it. No. You’re just going to be a stinking oil slick. You’ve got oily hair, and it’s not going away. Accept it, and here we go.
What’s great about having thin, mousy, oily hair is that what corrects one problem helps to solve another. For example, highlighting your hair adds bulk and glamour, but it also roughs up the hair shaft so that oil can’t stream down it as easily.
One product I have been enjoying lately is Powder Play by Big Sexy Hair.
It shakes on like a powder, but instantly sort of... melts? on contact. Once you rub it into the roots of your dry hair, you are better able to style and tease it. But the real perk I’ve found is that (maybe because it lifts the hair a bit off my oily scalp?) I wake up on day two with slightly cleaner-feeling hair. These days if I use the Powder Play on day one and dry shampoo on day two, I can do a little more dry shampoo the third day and make it with dignity as long as my hair is pulled up into braids or a ponytail. For me, that is HUGE. Try it.
Of course, the first thing you’ve considered was what shampoo to use. I have tried sooooo many different brands and types, and I just keep coming back to good ol’ Herbal Essence, Body Envy.
I used the shampoo and conditioner for years and then branched out to see if something else would cure my greasiness. It never did. Once I switched back to the Body Envy shampoo and conditioner, my hair just felt healthy and bouncy and light. I’m still a butter-ball, but that’s genetics, man. My advice would be to try this brand and also a bunch of others. Find one that works for you and just live there for a while. Trust yourself, not advertising or trends.
Finally, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to your new best friend:
No doubt you’ve tried dry shampoo before, but unless you’ve used this brand, give it one more shot. This is a great example of one problem solver working to cure another problem. Yes, it will literally evaporate the oil off your head, which feels almost like a kiss from God for people who really suffer, but it will also add volume and texture for styling. Plus, Batiste dry shampoo comes in oodles of scents which means you can experiment until you find one to become your signature scent. Love it.
So if you're forced to admit that you belong to the club of the hair non-blessed- the lank-locked- give yourself a day to grieve. Then scrap together those old magazine cutouts of hairstyles like "The Rachel" and burn 'em, baby. That look is not happening for you. Now feel the sweet peace that comes from embracing reality. You're over it, and ready to discover your best hair.
What key tips/products did I miss? Comment below. Write back soon! -Jess
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