Not all teachers can be as dreamy as Moo Moo. Some of them are more... foamy.
One day there was a girl. This girl was having a very good day. She had a good boyfriend who loved her and great friends. Everything seemed to be going good until she skipped gayly into 2nd hour and a stomach-wrenching smell filled her nostrils. The science room was full of slimy fish, reeky iguanas, and other things that smelled. Then her eyes fell upon... the substitute. Aaaah! She wanted to die. A short, fat man with little hair, big, thick glasses that were slightly yellowed... and when he talked a big double-chin wobbled! Back and forth. But worst of all, on either side of his mouth was a thick wad of foamy spit.
Ok, I have too strong of a gag-reflex to write this stuff. It calls to mind a substitute of my own who always had one of those yellowish (gag) globs of goo (GAG) on his bottom lip so that when his lips came together and then pulled apart, it created this string of goo. And I would just have to watch it connect and disconnect, connect... conn- c- excuse me for a second (distant retching sounds.)
I feel like so much courage is required to be a substitute, but also- HYGIENE. What can I say? It's not for everybody.
I wonder if this one was the same sub:
...Ah! My substitute just took out his dentures and put them back in!
Charming.
I loved to hear about Ms. S from Stacy. There was always something very unpleasant going on in that classroom.
Dude, it so reeks in here, I want to barf! First of all, there is an overpowering aroma of iguana poop, and if you sit next to the counter (like me) you get the wonderful sent of rotting pumpkin!! And if you're lucky, Ms. S might burn her breakfast again and so you get a nice smell of charred toast. And then you get a waft of her usual cup of coffee that smells like its been over-brewed. Now mix all of that together what do ya get? VOMITROCIOUS!
Here's my personal favorite:
Ms. S is eating right now while she is reading. She looks like a turtle. Right now I can't tell what she is eating but it must be tough, cause has to rip and tear at it, and then she chomps, chomps, chomps.
Oh my gosh, I almost couldn't type that one, I was laughing so hard.
What are your weird teacher/sub memories? Share in the comments!
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