Interacting with boys is just excruciating, isn't it?
This is the most accurate phone conversation with a boy ever recorded. It was exactly like this every. Single. Time:
Ben: Hi, how are you? Me: Fine, how are you? Ben: Are you weird? Me: I dunno, am I? Ben: (Laughing.) Me: What, is it funny? Ben: What? Me: So... Ben: So... what? Me: Why did you even wanna talk to me? Ben: I dunno! Me: BYE! Ben: BYE.
PLEASE tell me boys have gotten better on the phone. I NEED to believe it gets better than this.
Is it any wonder we turned to celebrity crushes for hope? P.S. Jonathan Jackson is the actor who played Jesse on "Tuck Everlasting."
Phew, worked up into a frenzy! He really was hot, though.
I love this little paragraph about hugging guys in sweatshirts. A thousand times YES!!
And this note that perfectly illustrates how you felt if you ever did happen to score a hug from your crush:
Tummy, close up: (butterflies.) Ahhhh! He hugged me! ...I can't think right now! I'm as light as a feather!
It was interesting when we progressed as a group from dreaming about boys to actually sort of dating them. Feelings were surprisingly mixed.
There was, of course, the novelty and excitement of finally experiencing what it was like to have a boyfriend. Problem is, seriously dating in high school just sort of... sucks. I like to compare it to that situation where you're having a party with your friends, laughing, gossiping, telling teenagery jokes, all the good stuff. Then Mom comes downstairs and plants herself in the middle of your group and wants to join in the fun. Suddenly, there's this instant pall to the evening. You can TRY to recapture the magic, but with an adult in the room, it's just awkward. Dating in high school feels like that to me. I think it's because, when you're dating someone, there's this pressure to be all serious and romantic with each other, and it's just not natural at that age. For one thing, you don't actually love the person, so saying "I love you" and acting all candlight-dinnerish feels as false as it looks. There's also the pressure to pair off and cuddle or whatever, instead of being free to move around and play with your friends like you really want to. You don't know what you're supposed to do as a couple, so you just end up silently clinging to each other in a miserably fidgety embrace, and watch your friends watching you being boyfriend-girlfriend. Anyway, that is my brutal but honest opinion of the experience.
Didn't stop us from trying to make it work, though.
There were many bumps in the boyfriend road. I spent a lot of time comforting my girlfriends with those romantic comics we talked about earlier. The plot twists always came out right in the comics.
Knock knock knock! J---: I need to talk to you. Barbie: But J---, I'm in the middle of class! I can't talk to you now. Spinstery-looking teacher: These are not visiting hours. I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave. J: Then I'll have to take you with me! J: I feel horrible for what happened on Thursday, but I can't help feeling that somehow it brought us closer together.
J: Well, for what it's worth I'm sorry, and I hope you can forgive me. Barbie: Oh J, of course I forgive you! J: Good! Then will you go out with me- again? Barbie: Need you ask? (Smooching to enthusiastic applause.)
There's something so crippling about the insecurity of being 14. Midge was feeling it here:
I feel so stupid with this whole J-- thing. (Not Barbie's J, obviously.) I really don't know why I'm not jumping for joy... Maybe I'm just waiting for something to go wrong... He acts different around his friends... And plus I look like crap today, so that adds. Stupid zit! What should I do? ...It feels weird saying he's my boyfriend. I expected it to be so special, so exciting. But I just feel so self-concious about all this... I wish I knew what he were thinking...
Infatuation turned to contempt soon enough, as we see in this oh-so-Midge letter:
J-- is dumb (written in the phonetic alphabet.) I said hi to him in the hall today, though. I didn't feel like giving him the hairy eyeball! (Illustration of an eyeball with very stylish hair.) He's got the spikey gelled look goin'!
My first boyfriend was a really sweet, cute guy named Landon. Weird coincidence: I was actually "asked out" (pre-driver's license version of being a couple) by a different Landon a year before and had turned that one down because I felt I was too young at the time. Here's a drawing done by a friend of mine when he found out I had finally given in to the couple scene:
Hey look! I tried to (do an) impression of your picture, although I added a little spice! Do you like Laura in the window?
That is exactly what my sister would have looked like if she had caught me kissing boys before I was 16.
I met Landon the night of The Magic Skirt. Our relationship was doomed to fail, mostly because of my own blundering awkwardness:
The movie! That was awesome. You are so brave. I would have never dared do that. Then again, I did kiss Landon's hand... Ahh! I must erase that memory! Erase, erase! LANDON: delete.
I kissed his hand?? ...WHY?
Here's a sober, honest reflection from my journal about my first experience being boyfriend-girlfriend with someone:
...I regret going and even though nothing serious happened (he didn't kiss me or anything,) I should have followed my instincts and not gone. I was miserable and uncomfortable the whole time. Our little "relationship" lasted for about a week, and then I started realizing that it wasn't fun anymore. So I called it all off and haven't heard from him for a while.
Sorry if you're reading this, Landon. Nothing personal! I was just too young, and I'm sure you were secretly relieved to be rid of the hand-kissing girl. :)
What was it like when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Tell us about it below! Write back soon- Jess
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