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Writer's pictureJess

Blonde- Relaxation

You know what's relaxing? Wearing a skin-scorching face mask while listening to a meditation tape narrated by a man with a phlegmy voice, and at the same time trying to keep your cucumbers from sliding off into your hair.

It's just as well our eyes were covered, cause my bedroom was BLINDING, man.


Relaxation was a big thing with us. What did we need to relax for? We spent literally every second of every day practicing self-care. We were experts before that was even a thing.

What is interesting to me about our spa days is how everything we did was wrong. I don't know who invented the cucumber idea, but- NOT effective. And hot oil treatments? On MY head, the grease-queen of the universe?? Ugh, my hair would lay in clumps like oily sardines for days afterwards, even after multiple washings.


The results were not the point.



Here's my friend mopping spilled oil off the floor with her head. Classic.




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