It felt like the whole world was ready to transition into adulthood before I was.
Don't get me wrong, I was SO happy to have shed the mundane meaninglessness of high school, and I was thoroughly enjoying the independence of being on my own, but- marriage? Babies? I still felt half-baby myself.
The thing is, whether you're ready or not, your people move forward. All my guy friends started leaving for LDS missions.
I must have faithfully written to at least ten.
One of my favorite missionaries to exchange letters with was my older brother, Scott. He used to sit on me and fart on my face, so you'd think I would hate the guy, but actually he's always taken really good care of me. An ideal older brother.
Is anything new happening, anything cool? You got to tell me these things. You've got to be my spy informer. I want to know every time Matt picks his nose. Every time Laura adds a bouillon cube to her double batch of ramens, I gotta know... I'm happy. I'm a tad homesick still, and I have constant explosive diarrhea, but I'm happy. I love you, and I miss you. Your brother (the cool one)- Elder Poopypants
My other older brother, Matt, got married his Junior year of high school! I think by the time he was missionary age, he already had his first child. He, too, has been a supreme friend and brother.
Then Scott got married soon after his mission, so it was just my sister and me for a while. Didn't last long. Marn's marriage was by far the hardest separation to stomach:
The only thing left to worry about is... losing her. But I'm choosing not to deal with that right now. At least I'm trying not to think about it. She was the most BEAUTIFUL bride I've ever seen, like she was just born for it. It's so hard to imagine this not being her HOME home any more... Parting truly is such sweet sorrow. Actually, I'd say it's more like agony, but whatever.
The blonde squad followed close behind. Here's a picture of my girl "Midge" with a cute boy at EFY...
...And here she is marrying him a couple years later!
"Barbie" took the plunge soon after, and we all got to be bridesmaids.
Here's the guy "Stacy" ended up with- a total sweetie. A++.
Before any of us could catch our breath, Midge decided to start her family. Suddenly, my girls were becoming parents! Unbelievable.
Between siblings and friends, we were growing quite the little troop of tots. I LOVED cuddling all the cute babies.
I started to think seriously about the kind of life I wanted to build for myself. So many of my journals from this time have little drawings and magazine cutouts of homes, yards, pets, and happy families doing the kinds of activities I hoped I would someday enjoy with my husband and kids. I mused often on the atmosphere I wanted to create in my future home.
I love to sit and be alone in a quiet house. At night I get nervous being alone, but during the day I could chill with myself for hours. I love the freedom and peace of solitude. I think a lot these days about my future home and what I want it to be like.
(I want) a mix between ______'s house and mine. _______'s house is a little too formal, and there's no trust, and in mine it's the exact opposite: not formal enough, and way too much trust. I want my children to have a clear understanding of what's appropriate and what's not, and know they are loved because I give them rules. I find the people who are the best parents are those who can teach by example because they live good, clean lives. I have made many mistakes in my lifetime and will continue to of course, but one thing may be said of me, and it is that I am determined to progress and be a better person today than I was yesterday.
How did you envision your future when you were a young adult? Tell us what was on your list! WBS- Jess
Comments